Last couple of years I’ve been hearing from people that i’m weird, odd, different, unusual, That they can’t put me in any box, that they can not label me with any label. It’s funny, because in the past I used to feel this way as well. Though I think I always could cover it up very well. In a way I must be a great actor, because I could fit into any group. I could be what the other wanted me to be. That is a superpower. But it is not so beneficial when it controls you, or better said: when you allow others to control you.
I always thought I had a sense of who I was, until I started this path of self transformation. It was my false sense of self that kept confirming that it knew itself. Where actually the real self is nothing like it. When you are just yourself, you don’t have to go looking for yourself anymore.
But I have stripped myself partly off my former identity. The core of who I am, is set in stone. It is unchangeable. But all that I was not, the false self, crumbled away. I had to confront myself. See myself ‘naked’. Over and over again. Because no, the process is not done and definitely not finished. But slowly, slowly, I get a real sense of what it is to be me. Some days better than others. And in one situation it is more clear then in another. It’s hard, It’s though, It’s painful, but oh God. There is nothing more satisfying to see yourself, as you really are. To see yourself growing into a more loving human being. To care less about what others might think of you and being less sensitive to their projections and opinions. Continue reading Be different, Be brave, Be your self
In a world where nobody shows his true emotions, it is a real challenge when you are facing your own darkness. Traveling through your shadows to find this little piece of light inside of yourself, is a tiring job. The worst part is that nobody can do it for you. You know you have to go through this period on your own. The good news is that you are not alone and that there is a lot of help available.
Thank god for the shadow, for without it, I would burn in the light. This sentence came to me today while running in the park, while I observed the shadows of the trees.. I was amazed by it. I was very thankful for these shadows, because they kept me away from the hot sun. Suddenly I realised that this is also the case with our own shadow part. We could not handle the magnificent light, because it would be too bright for us to be exposed at once. Continue reading The Art of suffering
The profound life lessons we are learning are not so much written in words, nor can you find them in books. Although many have written about them in books. The wisest lessons we are learning, so that we can grow on a human level, are from the interaction with others. It is in the difficulty and in conflicting situations that we start to think about how things could be different. Only when life becomes uncomfortable, we start to invent these creative solutions. It is quite interesting to notice that when things seem ok, life seems to stagnate. The opposite is quite true. The feeling of ‘nothing ever happens in my life’ could be a trigger to make different choices again, so that things start to flow. After all, Why should you move if all is right? Continue reading The beauty of life lessons
Pain is something we all feel and it is very real. Sometimes pain can be overwhelming. I’m not speaking about physical pain, but more the emotional/spiritual pain. As a human I find it a challenge to be open about my emotions. I find it a challenge to talk about the kind of pain i’m experiencing. I don’t always get the feeling that there is a place for emotions in our society. From a young age we were taught that we are supposed to stand tall and fight against our emotions. If you show them you are labeled as weak or soft, or you have ‘lost control’. When you do show your emotions in public, people think something horrible happened to you, because it is an exception to see someone expressing his or her emotions outside on the street. As a guy it is even more of a challenge, because the main idea about a man is that he needs to be a warrior, a fighter. It is this twisted concept that causes a big part of my pain as well. Continue reading Pain and human emotions
Every single day I learn more about myself and about the world around me. It is not by surprise that I learn new things. I asked for it. For many years. I wanted to know who I was and what the purpose of me being here on earth is. Over time, I got some puzzle pieces thrown at me from my spirit team (you have a team too!! Go talk to them). There are a couple reasons why they only give pieces of the puzzle. 1) It is to overwhelming to get all the information at once and 2) There is no fun left to live for when you know everything.
A way for me to cope with my social anxiety is to do completely the opposite of what someone with social anxiety would normally do. Instead of hiding, I’m opening up. It is part of my learning experience in this Universe(ity). By opening up myself, there is not much I can hide for others. I can not hide behind shame, guilt, addictions, or fears. I share parts of myself as much as I can in the moment and in return I learn to overcome my fears and everything that stands in my way to feel freedom. It is a great deal! Continue reading The gift of opening up
When we talk about being a free human being it is often mistaken with doing whatever comes up in your mind. To follow any impulse of the mind means for some humans freedom. The definition of freedom is therefore quite broad and for someone who has never given it a second thought it is quite vague as well. What is this freedom that we all crave so much?
Freedom is abstract. And anything that is abstract needs some extra time to be understood.
Continue reading What does it mean to be a free human being?