Last couple of years I’ve been hearing from people that i’m weird, odd, different, unusual, That they can’t put me in any box, that they can not label me with any label. It’s funny, because in the past I used to feel this way as well. Though I think I always could cover it up very well. In a way I must be a great actor, because I could fit into any group. I could be what the other wanted me to be. That is a superpower. But it is not so beneficial when it controls you, or better said: when you allow others to control you.
I always thought I had a sense of who I was, until I started this path of self transformation. It was my false sense of self that kept confirming that it knew itself. Where actually the real self is nothing like it. When you are just yourself, you don’t have to go looking for yourself anymore.
But I have stripped myself partly off my former identity. The core of who I am, is set in stone. It is unchangeable. But all that I was not, the false self, crumbled away. I had to confront myself. See myself ‘naked’. Over and over again. Because no, the process is not done and definitely not finished. But slowly, slowly, I get a real sense of what it is to be me. Some days better than others. And in one situation it is more clear then in another. It’s hard, It’s though, It’s painful, but oh God. There is nothing more satisfying to see yourself, as you really are. To see yourself growing into a more loving human being. To care less about what others might think of you and being less sensitive to their projections and opinions.
Now when somebody tells me that I’m weird, or different. I’m really glad that they agree with me. Because when I look at what ‘normal’ is today, I thank god from the bottom of my heart that I’m not that anymore. I realize that I did not come here to be normal. I came here to walk my own way. I am here to do things differently. I am here to live my life filled with spirit and to encourage others to do so too.
For all of you who try to fit in the regular picture. Ask yourself if that is where you really want to be. Is that where you see yourself? Living the life that others have designed for you. Does it make you smile? Does this life encourage you to shine? If not then it might be time for change. It might be time to look within for the answers you are looking for.
It’s not easy to be your self in a society where everything is set up, where you will be automatically an outsider if you don’t follow the crowd. It can be very painful. But nothing can hurt you more, than you not being your self. So learn to trust your process. follow your soul and surrender. A beautiful butterfly is waiting to be discovered after a period of transformation.