The Art of suffering

In a world where nobody shows his true emotions, it is a real challenge when you are facing your own darkness. Traveling through your shadows to find this little piece of light inside of yourself, is a tiring job. The worst part is that nobody can do it for you. You know you have to go through this period on your own. The good news is that you are not alone and that there is a lot of help available. 

Thank god for the shadow, for without it, I would burn in the light. This sentence came to me today while running in the park, while I observed the shadows of the trees.. I was amazed by it.   I was very thankful for these shadows, because they kept me away from the hot sun. Suddenly I realised that this is also the case with our own shadow part. We could not handle the magnificent light, because it would be too bright for us to be exposed at once. 

I too go regularly through my shadows. For the last three years I have been there and coming back. It is like surfing on the ocean’s waves. I know it is to clean old energies, karma and things I don’t understand. So yes, I could say I am a professional sufferer. A suffering surfer of life. Mostly I suffer because of my inner conflicts. Sometimes because of the other, which according spiritual law is also me. So I guess when I suffer from the other, I suffer double. I do not believe that there is one person who does not suffer. In a way we all do in different degrees. By living regular life, suffering is imminent. It is part of the dual world we live in. We don’t even have to look the suffering up. It comes to us on a silver platter. It is the shadow side of happiness. So if you are looking for joy, fun and happiness, then you must know what suffering is too. It is actually through the suffering that we learn what real joy is. But is not to say that one who suffers more, knows more joy. Also, the amount and quality of suffering is not related to the quality of joy. It is simply that when you acknowledge the value of suffering and the value of the life lesson, that you can proceed to the next stage. 

I have learned that the reason for suffering is not always clear. Not is it always important to know. For me it has become clear that the suffering and inner conflict starts when I am not present in the Now moment. On the moments I am not aware, my guard drops and the inner conflict starts and with that the suffering slips in. 

So being present and a whole set of skills like affirmations, meditation, gratefulness, physical activity, help me to transform the darker and lower energies to more uplifting ones. It has become an absolute art to know how to suffer. As it is also an art how to celebrate the joyful moments of life.  Both are existing and both deserve to be celebrated. For it is in the darkest moments that I learn the most valuable life lessons. It is when I travel through the dark shadows that I find these rough diamonds that help me to give value to my life. When I am in happier moments I can polish the diamond and enjoy the beauty of it.

Don’t get me wrong. Like I said, you don’t have to go looking for pain and suffering. So that you can be done with it and “real life” can start. It is not how it works. Though, we do learn through suffering.  Just by living life you will find your struggles and obstacles on the way. Fears and procrastinating behaviour. It is all part of life. When you are actively looking for suffering you are suffering from the own martyr that lives in each and everyone of us. Thinking that a better future is reached after we suffer as much as possible. In some cases it’s true that we experience it this way. Like the sun that shines after the rain. But it’s not a rule. Someone’s life can also end in suffering and someone could also live in seemingly eternal happiness. Honoring our suffering is therefore a beautiful way of coping with difficulty in our life. suffering becomes an art when you manage to accept it for what it is. 

“Where can I find this manual?” you might ask, well. It is inside of you. It is hidden in your behaviour. your thoughts, emotions, patterns, perception, and many many more factors. It is when we let go and surrender, that these dark times transform into better times. When we are present, we shift to higher frequencies and it is there, in the present moment, where we find true inner peace that we, deep down, are all so much longing for. 

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Jaron Tamam

Read my blog to discover a part of who I am. If you have any questions or suggestions, please contact me on

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